It has taken me a while to get my wits about me enough to blog about my first week on the job. Let me start by saying this, I love South Carolina. I love SafeHarbor. I love living with my great aunt and uncle. I have loved this first week. That does not mean that it was easy. Training was normal. Learning the gate system was tricky. Meeting the other interns was fun. But having a grubby little hand clenching onto mine was heart breaking. Working with the children has grabbed my heart and tore it apart for the 5 hours I was there. Wednesday was my first day to work with kids at the shelter and it put me through the ringer. These babies had all just come out of domestic violence situations, and it was very evident. I am going to change the names of the kids for security purposes but I want to share the day.
Sam (who is almost 4) and Maddie (who is almost 6) were the first kids I met. They sat on the far side of the room in an oversize chair, their four big blue eyes locked on me. I met some of the women with their gaze following my every move. I made my way to them and Sam said "who are you?" Maddie looked at him and said "She must be a worker, she is happy." First stab at my heart. I told them that I was here to play with them. They didn't understand. "You want to play with us?" I saw that Maddie was holding a book so I offered to read it to them. I scooted in between them both of the kids crawling half way on my lap. One page into the story Sam took another stab at my heart, he kissed my hand. I asked him if he was ok and Maddie said no one ever read them stories that they just made them up. These two had my heart, even if I could only give it to them for five hours.
There were 7 kids at the shelter that day from 18 mths to 8 yrs. We had a blast. We sang songs, colored pictures, did puzzles, played outside and did everything a kid would want to do on a summer day. They were ALL glued to me, soaking up all of my attention and all of my energy. Every once in a while another child would take another stab at my heart. Sam and another 3 year old Kelly didn't know how to count, any colors, or their ABC's. Jake who was 7 would mention how he used to have a play station but his dad threw it at his mom. He has a baby brother who is one and a half and didn't recognize his own name and couldn't balance well. Jake told me he was hit by a car. Shot after shot these kids pierced my heart until it was broken. I couldn't complain because they are all broken children.
Even now I am just hurting for these kids. I want their grubby little hands to be held by their mothers. I want their minds to explode with learning. I want their futures to look different than their paths. I want their mothers to be empowered and the family heal. I want to see smiles on all the faces of those at the shelter, not just the workers.
I am so excited for this internship and can't wait to see some of these wants come true as the kids and I experience summer at SafeHarbor.
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